How Can I Save My Marriage From Ending? | Top 10 Ways To Save Your Marriage Before 2026
- John Weiman
- Nov 22
- 6 min read
There is a reason lawyers and journalists call January “divorce month.” After the holidays, many couples finally act on decisions they have been quietly considering for months. Divorce consultations and searches spike in the first weeks of the year.
By John Weiman, CEO of Life Bridge Coaching | Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy in Baltimore, Maryland, and Nationwide
And there is a reason so many people start Googling divorce right after the holidays.
January and February are often the months when couples finally act on decisions they have quietly considered for a long time. You might be in that place right now, wondering:
“Can this marriage actually be saved?”
“Is it already too late for us?”
“Would counseling even help at this point?”
The good news is that many marriages that feel hopeless can still improve. Not all of them, but many. The sooner you start doing something different, the more options you keep open.
Below are:
10 best ways to start saving your marriage in 2026
Whether you live near Baltimore, Maryland, or are looking for online help anywhere in the United States.
1. Stop waiting for your spouse to make the first move
In struggling marriages, both partners often wait each other out:
“When they change, then I will try.”
That stalemate keeps you stuck.
Saving your marriage usually starts when at least one partner decides to lead with small, consistent, positive changes. It's not grand speeches. It's not ultimatums. Just one or two behaviors that move you closer instead of further apart.
Here are 3 ways to rebuild your connection in your marriage:
Being more curious than defensive.
Turning toward instead of away in small daily moments.
Checking in instead of shutting down.
You cannot control your partner’s choices. But you can control how you show up.
If most serious talks in your marriage start like this:
“You never help around here.”
“You always choose work over us.”
“What is wrong with you?”
Then you are starting in attack mode, and it is almost guaranteed to blow up.
Try changing just the first few sentences:
“I feel alone handling everything at home, and I need us to figure this out together.”
“I miss feeling close to you, and I want us to talk about it.”
You are talking about the same issue, but you are entering the conversation in a way that gives your spouse a chance to respond instead of just defending.
3. Make small daily deposits into your relationship
Think of your marriage as an emotional bank account.
Each time you:
Look up when your spouse speaks.
Ask how their day really was.
Send a short “thinking of you” text.
Offer a hug or kind word.
You are making a deposit.
Each time you:
Ignore them.
Snap or criticize.
Roll your eyes or withdraw.
You are making a withdrawal.
Couples who stay connected over the long term are not perfect. They simply make more deposits than withdrawals, especially during stressful seasons.
4. Rebuild friendship, not just fix problems
Many couples only talk deeply when there is a problem to solve or a fight to repair. Over time, the friendship part of the relationship fades.
To save a marriage, you need more than conflict skills. You need to enjoy each other again.
That can look like:
Learning new things about each other’s inner world.
Sharing updates about worries, hopes, and wins.
Bringing back simple fun: walks, coffee dates, cooking together, hobbies.
Friendship is a big part of what keeps couples together when life gets hard. If you are in Maryland, that might mean scheduling intentional time together somewhere familiar in Baltimore.
If you are working with me online from another state, I often help couples design “at-home dates” that fit their real life.
A surprising amount of marital conflict is long-term. You may never fully agree on:
How tidy the house should be.
How much time to spend with extended family.
How to balance saving money versus enjoying life now.
The goal is not to erase every disagreement. The goal is to learn to talk about these differences without destroying each other.
That looks like:
Staying on one topic at a time.
Taking breaks when either of you is overwhelmed.
Coming back later to keep working, instead of letting issues rot under the surface.
Couples who stay together still disagree. They just disagree in a way that keeps respect intact.
6. Repair quickly when things go wrong
In every close relationship, you will say things you regret.
The couples who make it are not the ones who never mess up. They are the ones who repair quickly and often.
Simple repairs that help:
“I am sorry I snapped at you. Can I try that again?”
“That came out harsh. What I meant was…”
“I do not want to fight with you. Can we pause for ten minutes and restart this?”
The faster you repair after a conflict, the less space there is for resentment to grow.
7. Create weekly and daily rituals of connection
Many couples in Baltimore and all over the US tell me they drifted apart without even noticing. Work, kids, and stress gradually pushed the relationship to the back burner.
Rituals of connection are small, regular ways of saying, “This marriage matters.”
Examples:
A 10–15 minute yogurt time before bed.
Coffee together before work a few times a week.
Going to a movie every week.
Taking a 20-minute drive together.
These moments do not have to be fancy. They just have to be consistent.
8. Address betrayals and broken trust, not just move past them
If there has been cheating, lying, secret debt, or other serious betrayals, you cannot simply “put it behind you.”
To save the marriage, you will need to:
End any ongoing affairs or secret contact.
Tell the truth about what happened and answer questions over time.
Put clear boundaries in place that both partners can see.
Show reliable, trustworthy behavior consistently.
Trust is rebuilt more by consistent actions than by big apologies.
9. Take responsibility for your side of the story
It is tempting to keep a mental list of everything your spouse has done wrong. Many of my clients can recite it with painful detail.
But if you want the marriage to have a future, you also have to ask:
“How have I contributed to where we are now?”
“What have I avoided, minimized, or blamed instead of owning?”
This is not about taking all the blame. It is about being willing to change your part of the pattern. Doing your own individual work, through counseling, coaching, support groups, or self-reflection, can be one of the most powerful gifts you give your relationship.
10. Get help before you sign papers
Most couples wait too long to ask for help. By the time they land in my office in Baltimore or on a video session from another state, they often say some version of:
“We should have done this years ago.”
If you are even asking, “Can this be saved?” that is your sign to talk to someone who works with couples all the time.
Good marriage counseling or intensive coaching can help you:
Understand what went wrong.
Break the repetitive arguments.
Rebuild the emotional connection if both of you are willing.
Or, in some cases, separate in a way that is less damaging to everyone involved.
You do not have to figure this out alone.
If you have any questions about saving your marriage, feel free to call me anytime at (410) 419-8149.
I work with couples in person in the Baltimore, Maryland area and online with couples across the United States who want to make their marriage or relationship work!
FAQ
Is it ever too late to save a marriage?
Yes, sometimes the damage has gone on for so long, or the safety issues are so serious, that staying together is not wise. But many couples come to me on the brink and still make meaningful changes. If there is basic safety, a willingness to be honest, and even a small part of both of you that wants to try, it is worth exploring.
Can I save my marriage by myself if my spouse will not come to counseling?
You cannot do all of the work alone, but you can start. Changing how you communicate, how you respond in conflict, and how you show up day to day can shift the dynamics enough that your spouse may become more open to joining the process.
How long does it take to see improvement?
Some couples start to feel small shifts after the first or second longer session. Deeper changes in patterns, trust, and connection usually take months, not days. The important thing is to measure progress by how you handle hard moments, not by whether you never fight again.
Do you offer online marriage counseling or only in person in Maryland?
I see couples in person in the Baltimore, Maryland area, and also work with couples online across the United States. The same intensive, longer-session model is used either way, so you can get deep work done whether you are local or connecting virtually.
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